Revenge of a Redhead Smurf
by Doc Lee
Summary: Spoilers up to 'The Fast and the Furriest'. A short sequence that has rattled around my head since the episode aired. Enjoy.


Hello, me again. This little fic has rattled around in my head since 'The fast and the furriest' aired, so spoilers up to that episode. I felt there was a missed opportunity for a good laugh at the end, so here it is.

DISCLAIMER - Neither Castle, not The Craig Ferguson Show belong to me in any way, shape or form.

* * *

Sinking down into her sofa, Kate Beckett sighed contentedly as she hugged her Union flag cushion. The end of a rough day usually ended with a long soak in her tub with a Castle book and a nice glass of wine. Nowadays though, this was often substituted for the man himself, a bed and a distinct lack of clothing.

That was to be the plan for the evening, had it not been for the last minute dash to the West Coast for some meetings and a couple of interviews for Castle.

Picking her new iPhone off her table, Kate looked at the confusing message again.

The message simply read, 'watch Craig Ferguson.'

While the message came from Castle's phone, Kate was confused as it wasn't typed in his usual style. Checking the time on her phone, Kate flicked her TV on and switched to the right channel as the start of the show appeared.

'Ladies and gentlemen,' Craig spoke into the camera after he had finished his opening monologue, 'Tonight we have a very special guest, ruggedly handsome mystery writer by day, amateur sleuth by night, author of the best selling Derrick Storm series and now the amazing Nikki Heat series. Please welcome Richard Castle!'

The audience erupted into loud cheers and raucous clapping as Rick walked into the set, his suave smirk plastered on his face as he waved at the audience.

'So Rick,' Craig waved his snake mug in the air as the two sat on the stage, 'As a New Yorker, what brings you all the way out west?'

'Meeting you of course,' Quick as a beat Castle threw the comment back across the table.

'Flattery will get you everywhere my friend. now, we've all heard how you began shadowing the rather lovely Detective Kate Beckett a few years ago,' Kate winced in anticipation of the next question, 'but we've all also noticed how you two seem to be joined at the hip recently. More so that in the past.'

Leaning forward, Craig rested his head on a hand quizzically, 'So, just between us two gentlemen...'

Kate found herself leaning forward in both anticipation and fear of Rick's answer.

'And put the media folks out of business by ending the long running 'Caskett' saga?' Rick scoffed, 'I think Gina and, or Paula would kill me. Beckett and I are what we are, and I am very happy with the way we are.'

Craig blinked and said something his production crew had to cover over with a funny noise, 'This is why I hate interviewing writers, always coming up with fancy ways to say none of your beeswax.'

'Hazard of a job,' Rick shrugged, earning a chuckle from the audience.

'Speaking of hazards,' Craig changed tack, turning to grab a number of small cards from behind his TARDIS, 'I was informed by a little birds that you are practical joker.'

'I enjoy a good joke like the next person,' Rick frowned, his gaze flicking to someone off camera before homing in on the cards.

'We were told by a recent victim of yours just how they were struck,' Craig shifted through the cards, 'and they felt that you deserved...' Craig paused dramatically, 'REVENGE!'

Kate giggled as the studio lights flickered and a thunder clap rang out as Craig cackled. Rick's nervous glint also helped to extend the giggles.

'We have photos!' Craig grinned.

'Oh...'Rick's next word was overlaid with an 'Ooh La La!' in an overly cliche'd French voice.

'Now then, where do I start?' Craig plucked a card out the pile, 'Here we go. As we found out through the Richard Castle website recently, you obtained an injury while showing off on the piste. What the loyal fans don't realise is tha this wasn't your only tumble recently.'

The image on the screen cut to a photo Kate had on her phone. That of Castle laid out on his back, his wheelchair tipped backwards and his braced leg looking like a strange pillar into the air.

Loud laughter rang out as the audience saw the image and Kate couldn't help but join in at the memory of Rick's whiny voice as he spotted Kate holding up her phone.

'My dear Beckett,' Castle calmly replied, 'I know where the tennis photo is. Revenge shall be sweet.'

'You are dead Javi,' Kate muttered as she sent the soon to be deceased detective the same message via text.

'We also have an image of Richard Castle, cowboy extraordinaire,' Castle groaned loudly as a black & white photo of him as a toddler on a beach appeared on screen. Dressed in nothing more than a cowboy hat and the beginnings of the Castle smirk, Rick's modesty was ensured by a strategically place image of his face.

The audience 'Aww'ed and then continued to laugh loudly.

'Is this how you treat all your guests?' Rick pouted dramatically, 'Humiliation?'

'When they do what you did Rick,' Craig laughed, 'Yes.'

'I know you don't remember Atlanta,' Castle smirked as Craig looked shifty, 'Well I do...'

'Bah,' Craig shrugged, 'can't be any worse than Huston.'

'Show another and we'll all find out,' Despite the threat, Kate could clearly see the teasing in Rick's eyes. As did Craig.

'Oh well,' Craig pulled another card out the pack, 'If I'm screwed, I should go out with a bang. We all know that Richard Castle was a ladies man, little did we know just how much he was.'

Kate noticed the slight paying of Rick's face as he realised which image was about to air next. As the screen changed, Kate nearly fell off her couch laughing at the image shown to the entirety of the USA.

Richard Castle sat next to a young Alexis was always going to be a cute image, but this one, this one took the biscuit.

A younger Castle sat next to a toddler Alexis, both holding a raised plastic tea cup. What made the image was the fact that Castle had dressed up. In a bright red dress, a long blonde wig and a surprising amount of make up over his face.

'I was under the impression that this image had been lost to time,' Castle sighed, his face turning a deep shade of red, 'Lucky I also have some images of the three ladies that gave you these images that they all thought had been lost to time as well.'

'And on that note,' Craig dropped the cards out of sight, 'We have come to the end of the segment. Thank you for coming and giving us such great entertainment tonight.'

'Usually this is the point where I ask my guest if they would like to finish with the mouth organ or an awkward silence,' Craig leant back in his chair, 'but for you, we'll end with the last image of you. Ladies and Gentlemen, Richard Castle!'

Kate laughed as the photo appeared on screen again. A buzzing in her hand showed a more recent image of the man to her.

'You make a handsome woman Rick,' Kate answered the phone.

'Alexis will suffer for that,' Rick's deadpan voice replied, sounds of a busy room in the background.

'You really thought she wasn't going to be getting revenge for your smurfing incident?' Kate teased, 'you are slipping Rick.'

'What I wasn't expecting my dear,' Rick sighed exasperatedly, 'Was that she would come to you to gain assistance in her devious scheme.'

'I was surprised when she rang me,' Kate snuggled down on the sofa, her Union Flag cushion squashed with her free arm to her stomach.

'Means she trusts you,' Rick replied simply, 'She never included Gina in anything personal, so the fact she is happily turning to you shows greatly.'

'I'm glad,' Kate murmured, 'I was worried that I had wrecked any chance of a relationship with Alexis.'

'Not a chance Kate,' Castle firmly replied, the background noise shifting as Castle changed rooms, 'Sweetie, my daughter doesn't hold grudges, never has. For a while after your...' Castle trailed off for a moment, 'Well, she wasn't your greatest fan, but she spoke to me after that blasted bank and it seems you did something, or she saw something that made her change her opinion of you. Even when we had our little miscommunication issue, Alexis kept on pushing your side to me. She has been your little cheerleader for a long time now.'

'You have raised a wonderful woman Castle,' Kate found her throat thick with emotion.

'How the hell did I do that?' Rick laughed.

'Seriously Rick,' Kate curled her legs up to her body, the exhaustion of the day rapidly catching up with her, 'you are an amazing father. Never, ever doubt that.'

A large yawn interrupted Kate briefly as her tired state loosened her tongue, 'Did you know, Rick, that you are the first man I've seriously wanted to have kids with?'

The sleepy confession left Rick frozen in place in the middle of a bustling hotel lobby.

'I am?'

'Mhmm,' Kate nodded needlessly, sleep nearly capturing the shattered detective, 'But there's something you've gotta do first Ricky.'

'What's that?' Castle felt as though his heart was about to beat out of his chest.

'Gotta marry me first Duh!' Kate giggled softly as she drifted asleep.

In an LA hotel Lobby Richard Castle was 'papped' standing in the middle of the room, the biggest, brightest smile adorning his face as he silently pumped the air with his fist.


End file.
